Two Events That Shaped My Psyche

We hear a lot about self-esteem these days. About how important it is in the development of a child's personality…and how easy it is to destroy with a few thoughtless words. But it's also just as easy to build up self-esteem in a child or teen. Two events in my life did it for me.

One Saturday night when I was about seven years old I'd gone to bed at my usual time, eight or eight-thirty. By nine p.m. I was into a sound sleep when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Pat, wake up," Dad whispered as he shook me gently. "Are you awake? Your mother and I want you to come out to the kitchen."

"Huh? Why, Daddy?"

"Well, we decided to have root beer floats and we don't want you to miss out. Come on, honey, there's a big brown cow out there for you."

I padded to the kitchen in my big pink fluffy slippers and flannel bathrobe and plopped down next to Mom at the old wooden table. I watched Dad scoop the vanilla ice cream into the large blue, yellow and brown stoneware antique mugs, only used on special occasions because they were treasures from my mother's childhood.

The foam from the root beer tickled my nose as I chatted with my folks about school. Then I listened and shared excitedly as Mom and Dad discussed plans for our family vacation.

"Need some more root beer on that ice cream, honey?" Daddy asked as he created a new mound of delicious suds in my mug.

I never felt more loved than I did that night in the kitchen as I groggily slurped root beer and ice cream with parents. Why? Because Mom and Dad wanted my company enough to wake me up so I could be there. Me! Just a kid! Wow, what a glorious feeling.

Is there a child or grandchild in your life who could use a boost of self-esteem? The best doses come when you simply let that child know, without a doubt, that you really, truly want to be with them and that you treasure their existence enough to share your most precious moments with them in person. It's all about the gift of your time…the best gift anyone can give to a child.

The second thing that helped form my psyche was an adventure I had in high school that I think taught me that stepping out of your comfortable small home-town environment makes all the different in the world as to whether or not you accept or deny opportunities that fall in your path. It helped me adopt the philosophy of "Never say no to an opportunity unless it's illegal or immoral." I've tried to follow it ever since this trip to New York.

Five kids from my Catholic high school were elected to attend the national CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) convention in Buffalo, NY. My friend Suzanne and I were the only juniors. We crammed into a train out of Chicago with hundreds of other delegates and made what seemed like a forever journey by rail.

I can't remember how many thousands of high school kids were there but on the last night they had the largest sit-down dinner ever served in the United States. Bobby Kennedy was the keynote speaker. At the end he walked right past my table and I fumbled with my camera, snapped two shots and got the most unbelievable double exposure shot of him that you can imagine. It's still in a magnetic frame on my refrigerator.

I don't remember much else about that convention, however. Oh,yes, we figured out how to take the mirror off the bathroom medicine chest in the big fancy hotel so we could talk to the boys in the room below us. They did the same with their mirror and we could actually see each other and drop stuff down to them. Ah, youth.

But the point is, I went, unchaperoned, attended classes, met teens from all around the country, behaved myself (except for the mirror incident) and learned a lot about adventure, travel, responsibility and even the Catholic Youth Organization. I could almost feel my self-esteem growing.